If you’re waiting for something to happen in your life – losing weight, getting your products perfect, to have more time, to have someone swoop in with the perfect
opportunity – chances are it won’t happen unless you take some significant action.
What have you been holding off while waiting for something else to happen?
If you’re ready to get your products and packages out the door but are struggling with pricing and selling,
sign up for my free 3 day online course called How to Charge Your Worth.
Competition brain kicks in when we start to look at what others around us are doing. Sometimes it helps fuel us to reach new heights by making us move faster, be more agile, think faster. The other side of competition brain is when it tells us we are worth less than others and therefore hide our voices. It can also say to us “Why do I deserve it more than others?” and then we never put ourselves out there too.
Well that’s all just crap. Seriously. There is no one in the western world who doesn’t deserve all that they desire. They make choices in their life that prevent that desire from happening – from the more urban settling in a role we never wanted to the more serious self sabotage of committing crimes.
I’m talking specifically in the western world because there are cultures and countries where personal liberties are not granted based on gender, sexual orientation, religion, etc. There is still a right to obtain all that they desire but there are so many other factors limiting their rise above the persecution they face. They are worthy as well.
In the western world, we still have racism, sexism, homophobia and other systemic blocks to achieving what we desire but we still do have choice. We have laws, government, right to education and an economy that allows everyone to build the life they desire.
And there is room for everyone. Seriously. There is room for everyone to achieve what they desire. Especially you.
I was in a Facebook entrepreneur group the other day and I heard some people talking about how a particular industry was already “flooded” and “over-saturated” and that it was difficult to be a unique voice in the community.
I guess in a Facebook group of 9000 to 14000, it can feel like your voice is lost in the sea of people in similar industries. But when we look at the world of over 7 Billion people who are online and regularly use social media – suddenly your potential audience just got a little bigger.
It can also get a little scarier. How do you live out your worth and find your ideal audience in such a big vast sea of potential clients?
Well, the secret is – you just start. Yup, the answer is that simple. A friend sent me a video clip from one of the last concerts held by The Tragically Hip, a legendary Canadian rock band whose lead singer, Gord Downie was diagnosed with an incurable brain tumour. The band toured one last time through the country and at their stop in Edmonton he said “It’s been a pleasure doing business with you tonight. It was a pleasure thirty years ago when there was only 6 of you.” The video clip then spanned the auditorium where 60,000 people sat listening to his every word.
Don’t worry about where you’ll be in 30 years. Think about living your worth and putting it out into the world right now – in the next 30 minutes, 30 days or even a year from now. Because by living it every day, your 6 will turn into 60,000 before you even know it.
The video talks about defining your worth into a series of key messages that you can use to start building your empire. Start living your worth today.
I will proudly admit that as a young adult I was completely immersed into wrestling. I had my favourites and I without fail watched RAW every week to see who was going to come out victorious. It was there I first discovered The Rock. The Rock had a line that I immediately felt attached to “Know Your Role” As a child and a young adult, I really had no idea what my role in the world was. I was born unplanned to parents who were never destined to be life partners. I was an outsider at school always on the fringe of every major friend clique in my school. I latched on to the internet as an introverts way of connecting with the world that never seemed to quite get me. So when The Rock proclaimed “Know your role!”, it became an instant anthem that has echoed in my head for the last almost two decades. (Uh where did THAT time go?)
My Role in the World
I definitely know what a part of my role in the world is. It’s to help uncover the small but significant details that make up other people’s unique set of qualities that will help them feel unique and vital in a busy noisy world.
I get to do that daily in my business as a transformational business coach. Through a series of deep, powerful questions, my clients discover the strengths they never knew they had and step into exciting new roles in their lives – dynamically shaping the outcomes of their own creative businesses to allow them to live a fully nourished life.
How Do You Know What Your Role is?
How did I figure that out? Well, I constantly asked myself “Ok Marissa, what IS your role?” and I tried out A LOT of things. I didn’t know having a coach would help me get there sooner. It wasn’t until I stumbled into the coaching world and received incredible life-affirming coaching that I was able to shed the cloud of depression plaguing my life. I had always felt role-less, unwanted and unneeded in the world. And then I started working with stunning leaders in creative businesses. Fearless women and men who decided they would create their own rules about what business is and how to earn money while building thriving, passionate businesses. I discovered that I was able to help them strengthen their businesses. I practiced my role over and over. Sometimes I really didn’t do it well. Sometimes I stunned myself with what I could accomplish. Sometimes I wondered if this was my role at all.
But clients kept coming and people kept seeking me out as I built a reputation for fearless coaching. I know now that I have incredible worth in the world. I know what a part of my role is and I welcome the additional roles I will take on in my life. Because I always have worth. I always have a part in this world. And you do too.
In the video, I walk you through an exercise to help you discover what your role is in the world and how you can build a business around it too.
Tonia Jahshan of Steeped Tea. Ancaster Ontario. May 2 2016 Photo Credit: Regina Garcia
Now THIS is a mentor to take notice of. As some of you know one of my income streams is Steeped Tea (direct sales) – the owner, Tonia Jahshan, was just named Canada’s Top Female Entrepreneur 2016. I’m pretty sure she’s on her way to be top Canadian Entrepreneur too.
Some people don’t think highly of the direct sales model but when you look at the thousands of women and men across North America who sell this tea under the Steeped Tea name – it’s really a franchise – just like Subway, Mr Lube and other common stores we regularly frequent.
Why is seeing ads, getting mailers, getting asked for the sale from a franchise any less offensive or intrusive than getting asked by a direct sales independent consultant?
I don’t know either.
When you choose to support these sellers – you support customized service, income generation for families and local economy boosts.
Tonia could have opened up stores across Canada and implemented big business tactics to make her a millionaire quickly. But she instead chose to invest in men & women like her who wanted to keep that investment going in their teams with the direct sale model. Creating businesses that work around their families and lifestyle.
Business comes in many different models. Don’t let others who have preconceived-ideas-without-the-experience tell you that you can’t succeed.
I spend a bit of time in Facebook groups to know there are 100% coaches and people who use the coach term in the world despite being something else.
I’ve heard many times people say in Facebook groups like this: make sure your coach has already done what they are coaching you on.
A coach who is 100% in coach mode and not stepping into a strategist, mentor, teacher or cheerleader seat – doesn’t have to know anything about the topic you are bringing and in fact the less they know – sometimes the better.
A coach in coach mode doesn’t coach “on” a topic. They never say a word about it. We mirror our clients. Our job is to know tools such as logical levels, NLP and/or other modalities in order for you to discover your own path on prosperity. If a coach is teaching or “telling”on a subject they cross out of coaching and into teaching, mentorship, cheerleader or strategist role.
Full coaching – I never have to know the subject at all. I can just be incredibly curious. Coaching runs on the assumption the client already has all they need for their problem inside. The coach’s role is to help them bring it outside. To help them become.
My role is to know how to coach powerfully – asking the questions that my clients can’t or won’t ask themselves. Listening intensely to hear where the client is going but also what they are keeping away from.
To be completely unknown to the subject so I don’t lend any bias or impression on where the client is going.
To be fearless in knowing and holding space for the client that the answer is there for them.
The challenge is that many coaches have never been trained or coached so they think they have to know a subject or they can tell their clients what to do or not to do which is leading to a very muddy world and clients who haven’t actually experienced expansion for themselves because the coach felt they needed to connect the dots for them.
One of my coach mentors once shared his favourite coach would often feign that he didn’t know a word in English for his English speaking clients (he spoke Portuguese) and he would ask “what is this word, what does it mean” and the client would go further and sometimes discover that word wasn’t even what they really wanted.
The power in coaching is the client creates the neuro pathways by connecting the dots themselves through being asked a bazillion questions by the coach.
When I look for a new coach I look at their training, modalities, and who they have coached with. I don’t even care about client results in terms of money or outcomes (because that’s up to the client not the coach). I want to know what their clients’ expansion was.
Sometimes a coach steps into other roles to help their clients and that’s cool because hey – your business. I think coaches should be clear when they are stepping into the other roles for their clients and know when it is appropriate to do so.
Anyhoo – hope this helps people asking what coaches do and if they should know the topic they are working with.
Just as much as I am for empathy, sympathy and respect, I am also for people asking questions, expanding perspectives and coming up with solutions.
When we silence people because we are uncomfortable, we are asking them to be confined to our own limitations.
We are not all the same – our thoughts, actions & behaviours are defined by our own personal experiences.
When we derail conversations and shame others for pursuing their passions, we are preventing change, growth & expansion.
Some of us are destined to create an impact right now and some are creating legacies. Impact can be defined as holding a hand in crisis or finding the cure for cancer. Both are just as important and relevant.
The Internet has created global conversations & bridges but it can also seriously hurt people and squash important & diverse voices which may mean we miss the answer all together.
You don’t have to be a part of every conversation.
You don’t have to answer every question.
You are allowed to contribute what you can, when you can.
The one secret to making money online if you ask most business experts is visibility. They will ask us are you being visible? Or they will say we have a limiting belief about being visible.
The underlying truth is – sure, if no one knows you’re offering or selling something how will they know it even exists to take it?
But here’s the thing visibility works both ways. You, as the seller, can see me, the customer. In the past few weeks, several contacts on FB have sent me messages asking to partner with me on their projects. To spread the word, be affiliates, provide content, etc.
Except the messages were very obviously cut and pasted. Now I’m not asking you to write out 500 paragraphs to each person when the info is the same but take the time to at least make the intro about me. Ask me how I am doing. How is the project I’m working on going. Heck, even how is your cats? Go on my newsfeed and find something you’re interested in about me. Please be interested about me before you send me a message on FB asking me to do something for you.
If this isn’t a step you can take – send me an email. It’s less personal. You can be less personal. I can delete it there easier than the FB message.
Studies show though, when we call customers by their name, even if it’s initially shocking to them, they buy more with us.
You return to the coffee shop where someone says “would you like your usual?”
You come back to the mechanic that says “last time you were here, I remember I wanted to check your brakes – ok if I take a peek at those on this visit?”
It gets harder when your brand hits thousands and millions but even Team Forleo sends cards & flowers to people in this group to share in their successes years after they paid the money to get in.
STOP!!! No wonder we are always questioning whether we can make it as entrepreneurs. Spend a few minutes online & you’re targeted with a barrage of well meaning business experts and their exclamations of stop doing this and stop doing that. STOP! So we do. We stop.
We stop experimenting. We stop trying new things. We stop putting ourselves out there for fear someone is going to yell STOP at us. Next thing we know, we’ve stopped our business all together. Yikes!
We force ourselves to opt-in to regurgitated content that starts with “The exact steps I took to make $20k in 20 minutes” because if we just do that, we won’t have to stop, right?
We dream of negative self talk and we watch others moving ahead and achieving their dreams and “Damnit why can they do it and not me?”
The secret: The autocorrect in their head sees all the “stops” being thrown at them and changes it to “start”
So my fabulous entrepreneurs, rise up! 2016 is here and we have permission to start our lives. To all the copywriters who thrive on stop, I challenge you to start.